Okay, I admit it. I’m a total sucker for a nifty fifty. Subject separation with a wide, fast aperture makes me shiver. Dreamy highlights that look like fireflies in the background jiggle my puddin’ – so a couple years back, I decided to buy a Zenit Helios 58mm f/2 lens. I had seen them discussed on-line from time to time and some of the images from these lenses looked amazing. Most specifically, it was the out of focus areas that made me take notice. It seemed like the background swam with constellations of delicious, blurry boceh. I had to have one to see if I could warp the world with it.
The Helios Zenit was the perfect lens for its time and place. It was created in post-war Soviet Russia where crystal clarity was the last thing The Party wanted to give to the people. Instead they warped everything with propaganda, lies and disinformation. Where else would you expect to find a lens that will show you – not what was in front of you – but what the lens wanted you see? It was insidious, but in an artistic way, so again, I had to have one. And I named it my Russian Insanity Lens.
One of the cool things about these lenses is that they each had their own character, so the web posts said. I purchased mine online and found just what I was looking for. Since Soviet manufacturing standards in the 1950s were not exactly up to Japanese or West German standards, actually, I’m not sure if they were even up to Kindergarten Arts and Crafts class standards, I looked for a ‘Used Imperfect’ grade lens. Unfortunately that search didn’t bring me much on Ebay, but I did find a sketchy guy in the Ukraine who – after a few weeks of wondering if I had been scammed – sent me a lens that looked like it had been taken apart by the monkeys in the photo and put together backwards – the aperture ring actually did work backwards to the markings. But the package wasn’t even soggy from the transAtlantic crossing, so I figured it was a win.
With a the right adapter, I was able to mount the Helios on my beloved Nikon Z7ii, which is kind of like using hamster on a treadmill to power a space shuttle, but the focus ring still worked, and when I pushed the shutter button, the lens went click and a photo appeared on the display screen. So then, it was time to experiment. It seems multiple light points or spread out backgrounds are best for these lenses and the narrow field of vision make for some nice subject separations in strange environments. And this isn’t my only insanity lens. I also own a 7 Artisans 35mm f/0.95 lens – dubbed the Chinese Insanity Lens – that I use on Fuji X bodies for the same purpose as the Russian – to play with reality.
Look, if reality is going to be such a pain in the ass every day, why shouldn’t we mess with it?
Thanks for looking.